Like many out there who start on the journey of BDSM, I too got caught up with the mass fantasy of female domination, the fetishes, the sexy clothing and makeup and all the trappings of the femdom lifestyle. When one is inexperienced in any given field, it is usually the superficial trappings that attract one to it. When enough time and experience is accumulated then one of three things happen; either we see that after some time it isn't what we wanted and leave all together, or we realize that the superficial stuff is enough to keep us content and we stay there or we continue onwards realizing that the superficial external stuff is nice, but there is the real experience that is more important. In BDSM, i too was attracted by women in leather, whipping away at slaves and making them kiss their feet.
The various dommes that came and went in my life were good in their own right, but stuck in the superficial. Many times I'd submit to a domme and they were clearly not as intelligent, not as comfortable being dominant or had other reasons to dominate like needing money. Along with that are all the buzz words used by both subs, slaves and dom/dommes like female supremacy, mind control, financial domination and with each person those take on different definitions.
When I submitted to Mistress Shola, I too jumped on that word Female Supremacy and thought I truly believed in that concept that I felt all women were superior to me. Even though past experience showed that I'd be in love with the idea of being dominated by a female and then the euphoria would end just like any honeymoon and then the reality would never be enough for me to stick around. A very good reason that I'd jump from one domme to another and sometimes have multiple on the go. I believed in female supremacy as long as it fit my fantasy and ideals.
With Mistress Shola, i did initially upon meeting her for the first time cheat on her with other dommes and typically She'd be another obscure domme in a huge list of dommes i'd served to serve my own needs and leave. She was different, even when I left Her, She was on my mind. It took me a while to get back to serving Her and relinquishing my privacy in exchange for my submission to Her. As time went on and my submission turned into slavery, I realized a transformation within me where I found my needs where secondary to Mistress Sholas. My journey into bdsm was turning from superficial clothing to changing my mind, my thoughts and the way i was seeing things. It is at this point I sat down and thought that I have experienced submission and slavery at the hands of Mistress Shola and there is no shadow of a doubt that She is my superior, i am truly Her slave and She has taken me from what i was to someone who not only knows what slavery is, but experienced it. Why couldn't other women do that? What is it about Mistress Shola that enslaved me to Her that is lacking in other women? That question I think only Mistress Shola can answer as to what She did with me.
Out of all this I realized that I cannot truly believe in female supermacy as not all women are created equal. Female Supremacy would mean that everyone of the female gender would be superior to me and for all intents and purposes be able to enslave me like Mistress Shola did. This was not my experience.
I am not a believer in female supremacy. I am a believer in Mistress Shola's supremacy over me.
ball and chain
ball and chain
May 10, 2013
April 17, 2013
World Peace - the Ego - Femdom submission.
Watching the news and all the strife in the world made me sit and reflect on the madness in the world. One group tries to suppress another group through violence, through political, legal and religious means. On a basic level it really stems from one person trying to enforce their view on another as the legitimate one. You'll hear, "my religion is the right one, the rest of you will burn in hell for eternity. God gave us the right way and you are all mislead and will burn in hell and suffer damnation. If you don't accept my religion right now then you'll be forced into it by other means" This is one example and you can extrapolate that to any other ideology.
Sitting on my couch, I remember the teachings of Confucius where he states that there are no new problems, but the same problems in different forms. The essence of the problem is the same throughout history, it just looks different because it changes to reflect the times. The religious/political wars of the past are still the same, except that there are new weapons and new methods of warfare. One would argue that power and money are the root of all the evils, but I would urge them to go a step further and see that the ego and ego gratification are at the root of that. What good is money and power if you cant flaunt it, can't be adored for it, can't be thought of as elite and special.
The ego and its' gratification is the root of all evil. Once that is removed then there is true social consciousness (one reality - oneness in everything - no sense of separation) and in turn the elimination of duality (me vs you, us vs them, the haves and have nots). With the ego gone, there is no hunger for power and money to satisfy the needs of the ego. Power and money are used in the interests of the common good. Even though another person has different ideological beliefs, they are accepted and respected to be that persons beliefs - not good or bad - just different. Then and only then peace can come about.
Eliminating of the ego is something that many religions preach and the method prescribed is submission to the will of God. i sometimes think of that submission in terms of bdsm as well. Many times slaves will claim to submit to a domme, but essentially they are driven by their desire to satiate their sex drive, to satisfy an aspect of their ego, to get something for something. i'm guilty of the same with my submission to Miss Shola. i do recognize that. i want Her approval, i wish to have a really special place in Her life, and when those things are threatened (in my head, not in actuality) i worry about it. True submission would be to serve regardless of whether She spoke to me or not, whether or not i was dear to Her or not - totally selfless. i'm not there yet in my submission to Her. i do know that i'm not very needy and have a natural desire in me to just work for Her, think of ways i can improve Her life and how i serve Her without being told or directed. my work for Her now is a labour of love and devotion to Her. Maybe in my own way i'm making progress. Then again, that's not for me to say, but my Mistress :)
Sitting on my couch, I remember the teachings of Confucius where he states that there are no new problems, but the same problems in different forms. The essence of the problem is the same throughout history, it just looks different because it changes to reflect the times. The religious/political wars of the past are still the same, except that there are new weapons and new methods of warfare. One would argue that power and money are the root of all the evils, but I would urge them to go a step further and see that the ego and ego gratification are at the root of that. What good is money and power if you cant flaunt it, can't be adored for it, can't be thought of as elite and special.
The ego and its' gratification is the root of all evil. Once that is removed then there is true social consciousness (one reality - oneness in everything - no sense of separation) and in turn the elimination of duality (me vs you, us vs them, the haves and have nots). With the ego gone, there is no hunger for power and money to satisfy the needs of the ego. Power and money are used in the interests of the common good. Even though another person has different ideological beliefs, they are accepted and respected to be that persons beliefs - not good or bad - just different. Then and only then peace can come about.
Eliminating of the ego is something that many religions preach and the method prescribed is submission to the will of God. i sometimes think of that submission in terms of bdsm as well. Many times slaves will claim to submit to a domme, but essentially they are driven by their desire to satiate their sex drive, to satisfy an aspect of their ego, to get something for something. i'm guilty of the same with my submission to Miss Shola. i do recognize that. i want Her approval, i wish to have a really special place in Her life, and when those things are threatened (in my head, not in actuality) i worry about it. True submission would be to serve regardless of whether She spoke to me or not, whether or not i was dear to Her or not - totally selfless. i'm not there yet in my submission to Her. i do know that i'm not very needy and have a natural desire in me to just work for Her, think of ways i can improve Her life and how i serve Her without being told or directed. my work for Her now is a labour of love and devotion to Her. Maybe in my own way i'm making progress. Then again, that's not for me to say, but my Mistress :)
April 12, 2013
Religion/Spirituality and BDSM
A thought occurred to me going over the various posts on facebook by dominants and submissives. Words like worship, tribute, service, obedience, among the many one can see on any given day. It made me think if one were to approach someone on the street and asked them what those words bring to mind, they'd answer religion or bdsm depending on what is more dominant in their life.
It made me think of bdsm from the eyes of religion or spirituality and find the similarities and differences. Both are similiar in that;
1) There is a focus on one authority - God is religious affairs and a dominant in bdsm. The dominant in bdsm is almost like a demi-god/goddess. Both worshipped in adoration, although the dominant in bdsm has a strong sexual pull, while the God of religion is more like a paternal/maternal figure.
2) Worship, obedience and loyalty to that one authority is a requirement and a slave/submissive is moulded by that adherence to the dictates of that authority.
3) Tribute or tithing is common to both, although again one is mandatory for the time spent with a dominant while tithing is recommended, but not enforced.
4) Both can give very powerful experiences to the submissive or worshipper - spiritual elation or sub-space.
5) Both have the potential of bringing betterment in an individuals life, but also in their negative aspect both can bring out the worst in a person as well.
6) There is an aspect of both that may encourage someone to seek someone other than their primary partner, that may not be required in ones spiritual journey. The sub or dom/domme may seek outside their relationship. The spiritual person may seek others like him/her.
The differences are:
1) A non-sexual versus sexual aspect between the two.
2) One brings spiritual nourishment while the other sexual nourishment. Sexual nourishment only fulfils for a limited time, while spiritual nourishment can fulfil for a longer time.
3) Spiritual progress can take a person to higher, more subtle and refined experiences, with bdsm the descent into further practise has the potential of getting into more hardcore practices.
I'm not trying to dissuade people from bdsm, but undertaking a comparative study. Guided by an evolved guide in both bdsm and spirituality the seeker/submissive can become a better person for it. It comes down to awareness of the right people in your life.
In my own experience, i've found that Miss Shola, has impacted my personal life in positive ways, allowed me to enjoy the sexual aspects of bdsm and also taken me into deeper levels of submission to Her while being a reassuring presence. i've never experienced an openness whereby i don't filter out any thought and speak my mind whatever it is. It is also a vulnerability that feels like being totally naked and exposed - showing the good and the bad. To admit humbly that She does mean a lot to me and that i am addicted to Her and that i do need Her in my life. If i do have to submit to a dominant and give up my freedoms, then i'm happy that the one i submit to does truly cares for me.
It made me think of bdsm from the eyes of religion or spirituality and find the similarities and differences. Both are similiar in that;
1) There is a focus on one authority - God is religious affairs and a dominant in bdsm. The dominant in bdsm is almost like a demi-god/goddess. Both worshipped in adoration, although the dominant in bdsm has a strong sexual pull, while the God of religion is more like a paternal/maternal figure.
2) Worship, obedience and loyalty to that one authority is a requirement and a slave/submissive is moulded by that adherence to the dictates of that authority.
3) Tribute or tithing is common to both, although again one is mandatory for the time spent with a dominant while tithing is recommended, but not enforced.
4) Both can give very powerful experiences to the submissive or worshipper - spiritual elation or sub-space.
5) Both have the potential of bringing betterment in an individuals life, but also in their negative aspect both can bring out the worst in a person as well.
6) There is an aspect of both that may encourage someone to seek someone other than their primary partner, that may not be required in ones spiritual journey. The sub or dom/domme may seek outside their relationship. The spiritual person may seek others like him/her.
The differences are:
1) A non-sexual versus sexual aspect between the two.
2) One brings spiritual nourishment while the other sexual nourishment. Sexual nourishment only fulfils for a limited time, while spiritual nourishment can fulfil for a longer time.
3) Spiritual progress can take a person to higher, more subtle and refined experiences, with bdsm the descent into further practise has the potential of getting into more hardcore practices.
I'm not trying to dissuade people from bdsm, but undertaking a comparative study. Guided by an evolved guide in both bdsm and spirituality the seeker/submissive can become a better person for it. It comes down to awareness of the right people in your life.
In my own experience, i've found that Miss Shola, has impacted my personal life in positive ways, allowed me to enjoy the sexual aspects of bdsm and also taken me into deeper levels of submission to Her while being a reassuring presence. i've never experienced an openness whereby i don't filter out any thought and speak my mind whatever it is. It is also a vulnerability that feels like being totally naked and exposed - showing the good and the bad. To admit humbly that She does mean a lot to me and that i am addicted to Her and that i do need Her in my life. If i do have to submit to a dominant and give up my freedoms, then i'm happy that the one i submit to does truly cares for me.
March 28, 2013
Good slaves are not born that way, they are made.
Two days ago, i woke up very aroused and also very hungry for some reason. i was allowed permission to cum the night before, but it was at home with all the interruptions and things weren't calm. It was one of those sexual releases that end with ejaculate streaming forth, but without the full pleasure of it. i've heard of some dommes who use a milking technique to do that, but it wasn't what my Mistress Shola had intended for me.
Typically, i'd take matters in my own hands (excuse the pun) and regardless of whether a domme i was serving would allow me or not, i'd satisfy my own needs. For me, dommes were there to create the fantasy i needed to jerk off and after that, well my interest would wane in whatever they said.
With Mistress Shola, it is different. One reason is that i feel that my slavery under Her is real because of the fact that i've shown in action and words that i'm committed. i have handed Her a loaded gun figuratively by giving Her access to my personal life and information. i did that more for myself than for Her benefit. i know my weaknesses, i know i can stray and have done so many times in the past. i've confessed those to Mistress Shola. i want to know that in very real terms Mistress Shola can make or break me. It is the only way i know that will keep me from allowing my natural weaknesses to betray me and Her. She never asked for it, i wanted Her to have it. She had told me that it has to come from me. Submission is only real when it is given freely.
The second reason, i cannot cheat is that i feel a connection growing between Mistress Shola and i. She seems to be sensitive like a psychic about things. Knowing me deeper than just the surface stuff. i feel Her energy as well. i know She'd know if i wasn't being truthful. i actually like not being able to hide, even in my own mind. If i really gave myself in submission, then i am Hers - mind, body and spirit, to serve, obey, protect, respect and be loyal to.
i came to work letting Her know about my state and She said no to my request to cum, but would address it later in the day. Later in the day, She told me to edge four times and then go home. Once home i could cum. The frustration of the day before and the very high possibility of not getting a moment to myself to release properly. i begged and pleaded. i think Mistress knowing my inner state allowed me to cum before going home. However, the warning was a final and harsh one that this would never be repeated again. When Mistress Shola, speaks or says something it is to be obeyed and Her word is final. Since i am still early in my training, it was permitted only once and would never be again. i did cum, but felt ashamed after. i felt that i should have not allowed my need to cum cloud my judgement and beg Mistress in the manner i did. i did beg for forgiveness and my apology was accepted after some time of awkward silence. i know it won't happen again. It would have been better if i didn't cum at all and bare that frustration than feel the disapproval and disappointment of my Mistress.
Thinking of it two days later, the lesson sinks in deep. i'm not a perfect slave, let alone a perfect person, but i know i'm being moulded by Mistress Shola to be a better slave - obedient regardless of my personal weaknesses.
Typically, i'd take matters in my own hands (excuse the pun) and regardless of whether a domme i was serving would allow me or not, i'd satisfy my own needs. For me, dommes were there to create the fantasy i needed to jerk off and after that, well my interest would wane in whatever they said.
With Mistress Shola, it is different. One reason is that i feel that my slavery under Her is real because of the fact that i've shown in action and words that i'm committed. i have handed Her a loaded gun figuratively by giving Her access to my personal life and information. i did that more for myself than for Her benefit. i know my weaknesses, i know i can stray and have done so many times in the past. i've confessed those to Mistress Shola. i want to know that in very real terms Mistress Shola can make or break me. It is the only way i know that will keep me from allowing my natural weaknesses to betray me and Her. She never asked for it, i wanted Her to have it. She had told me that it has to come from me. Submission is only real when it is given freely.
The second reason, i cannot cheat is that i feel a connection growing between Mistress Shola and i. She seems to be sensitive like a psychic about things. Knowing me deeper than just the surface stuff. i feel Her energy as well. i know She'd know if i wasn't being truthful. i actually like not being able to hide, even in my own mind. If i really gave myself in submission, then i am Hers - mind, body and spirit, to serve, obey, protect, respect and be loyal to.
i came to work letting Her know about my state and She said no to my request to cum, but would address it later in the day. Later in the day, She told me to edge four times and then go home. Once home i could cum. The frustration of the day before and the very high possibility of not getting a moment to myself to release properly. i begged and pleaded. i think Mistress knowing my inner state allowed me to cum before going home. However, the warning was a final and harsh one that this would never be repeated again. When Mistress Shola, speaks or says something it is to be obeyed and Her word is final. Since i am still early in my training, it was permitted only once and would never be again. i did cum, but felt ashamed after. i felt that i should have not allowed my need to cum cloud my judgement and beg Mistress in the manner i did. i did beg for forgiveness and my apology was accepted after some time of awkward silence. i know it won't happen again. It would have been better if i didn't cum at all and bare that frustration than feel the disapproval and disappointment of my Mistress.
Thinking of it two days later, the lesson sinks in deep. i'm not a perfect slave, let alone a perfect person, but i know i'm being moulded by Mistress Shola to be a better slave - obedient regardless of my personal weaknesses.
March 24, 2013
Female Supremacy, Feminism, Female domination - The real thing vs buzz words.
This weekend Mistress Shola, began to help me out with my relationships, particularly with my own wife. It's full life domination, not about just a few moments of fantasy and a quick jerk off and away I go. It isn't just about control of accounts, computers, finances and sex, and no regard to my personal affairs. She did explain to me that being Her slave meant - submitting everything. She is a believer in female supremacy and has sought to ensure I give the women in my life the proper respect from my mother, wife and daughter. Contrast that to the many female supremacy dommes who are first to abuse the slaves wife, telling a slave to screw spending anything on your wife until you spend on them first. Let your wife and kids starve, but as long as I'm living in luxury. Is that female supremacy? That's just a buzz word used by a woman who doesn't understand that she is acting like a whore devoid of any morals.
Mistress Shola, has actually taken the time during my "under consideration" period to know me, my life and whatever I was able to offer Her so that She could be a good domme to me as I was to be a good slave to Her. It is a symbiotic relationship, harmonious and also one with clear roles. I submit to Her, I accept my subservience to Her and obey Her and Her judgement. Her judgement has to be obeyed and it has to be final. I cannot be a slave to Her if I am to disobey or question Her judgment constantly. She isn't just a BDSM Mistress, but a life coach personal life Mistress.
She is working with me to help me with my relationship with my wife. She respects other women like my wife and sees them as Queens in their own right, worthy of love, respect and worship. How can I not be moved by that? How can I not submit to that Superior thinking?
Many use the buzz words, but I know my Mistress Shola to be a feminist and a female supremacist who puts it in real practice in Female Domination. Maybe one should look at the dommes around and see if they actually practice what they say they do.
Mistress Shola, has actually taken the time during my "under consideration" period to know me, my life and whatever I was able to offer Her so that She could be a good domme to me as I was to be a good slave to Her. It is a symbiotic relationship, harmonious and also one with clear roles. I submit to Her, I accept my subservience to Her and obey Her and Her judgement. Her judgement has to be obeyed and it has to be final. I cannot be a slave to Her if I am to disobey or question Her judgment constantly. She isn't just a BDSM Mistress, but a life coach personal life Mistress.
She is working with me to help me with my relationship with my wife. She respects other women like my wife and sees them as Queens in their own right, worthy of love, respect and worship. How can I not be moved by that? How can I not submit to that Superior thinking?
Many use the buzz words, but I know my Mistress Shola to be a feminist and a female supremacist who puts it in real practice in Female Domination. Maybe one should look at the dommes around and see if they actually practice what they say they do.
March 22, 2013
A new beginning
Today i start a chronical of my journey into submission. i am a submissive male who has had many experiences in the world of BDSM, some good, some bad but none totally fulfilling. i have found one dominant to have captured my attention and someone i feel worthy of my submission. Submission and the giving of the self isn't something to take lightly. Nor is the taking of someone's submission a small matter. It is because of this mutual understand that i submit to Miss Shola.
i didn't begin this journey today, its been in process for a while. i will post the recent posts from my facebook and their dates here for the sake of some context.
March 13, 2013
Today i removed all barriers, and all secrecy from my Mistress Shola Findomme. i feel the dawn of a new beginning that will allow me to take my submission to new depths with Mistress, as well as use Her wise counsel in my personal life. Maybe this is full life control that i've wondered about in bdsm, but never really experienced.
March 14, 2013
Today's theme was definitely "Mindgames" with the beautiful Mistress Shola Findomme. Moments of calm interspersed with moments where my heart beat hard and rapidly - felt played much like an instrument in Her hands. All worthwhile when the final moments of the day were spent in the presence of Her beauty on Skype. i recommend all slaves who enjoy mental sadism to taste her sweet poison.
March 18, 2013
Eliminating all the garbage and useless baggage in my life in the form of stupid dommes and serving the beautiful Mistress Shola Findomme. Maybe its good to purge during my "in consideration" status. Don't want any remnants when i'm fully owned by Her.
March 20,2013
Thank You Mistress Shola Findomme for forgiving me and accepting me as Your pet. I'm beyond happy and feel very connected to You. i have no secrets from You. What You want from me is Yours already.
March 20th - first day of spring. Truly a special day for me and maybe not coincidental that it is the time of rebirth in nature. The deceptions of the past were forgiven. i was forgiven for all my lies, for my rudeness, and truly ignorant behaviour. She forgives, but not without mindgames as i wrote about on the 14th of March. By the 20th of March i felt very repentent, my heart and inner being ached from wronging Her and the guilt was eating me inside. i begged Her for it and she forgave and she collared me as Her tech pet. It was a moment of pure joy. Not only did i become Hers, but the chains of fear and guilt from being forgiven were removed.
On the 21st of March, was the moment that a defining moment for me in my submission. It is one thing to give account access to a dominant for all Your bdsm activities and quite another to give Her access to Your personal account. Knowledge about and access to most of family, my friends, co-workers and aspects of my personal life. For me, that was me signing my life in trust to Her. It is no small step, no desire of being fetishistically blackmailed, or moment of weakness on my part. It was the facing of fear, the faith in a strong dominant woman and the parting of ways from negative cycles to commit to a dominant who can make me a better person - a better slave and in the process enjoy it. In turn, i've found that the work i do for Her isn't a chore like it has for others in the past. i desire to please Her, i desire to do the best i can for Her, i desire to serve Her to make Her happy. It's a paradigm shift. It isn't something i do for someone so i can get something back.
i am changing - my journey has just begun. Not sure where i'm heading, or what i'll be when all is said and done, but i trust my beautiful Mistress - Miss Shola
i didn't begin this journey today, its been in process for a while. i will post the recent posts from my facebook and their dates here for the sake of some context.
March 13, 2013
Today i removed all barriers, and all secrecy from my Mistress Shola Findomme. i feel the dawn of a new beginning that will allow me to take my submission to new depths with Mistress, as well as use Her wise counsel in my personal life. Maybe this is full life control that i've wondered about in bdsm, but never really experienced.
March 14, 2013
Today's theme was definitely "Mindgames" with the beautiful Mistress Shola Findomme. Moments of calm interspersed with moments where my heart beat hard and rapidly - felt played much like an instrument in Her hands. All worthwhile when the final moments of the day were spent in the presence of Her beauty on Skype. i recommend all slaves who enjoy mental sadism to taste her sweet poison.
March 18, 2013
Eliminating all the garbage and useless baggage in my life in the form of stupid dommes and serving the beautiful Mistress Shola Findomme. Maybe its good to purge during my "in consideration" status. Don't want any remnants when i'm fully owned by Her.
March 20,2013
Thank You Mistress Shola Findomme for forgiving me and accepting me as Your pet. I'm beyond happy and feel very connected to You. i have no secrets from You. What You want from me is Yours already.
March 20th - first day of spring. Truly a special day for me and maybe not coincidental that it is the time of rebirth in nature. The deceptions of the past were forgiven. i was forgiven for all my lies, for my rudeness, and truly ignorant behaviour. She forgives, but not without mindgames as i wrote about on the 14th of March. By the 20th of March i felt very repentent, my heart and inner being ached from wronging Her and the guilt was eating me inside. i begged Her for it and she forgave and she collared me as Her tech pet. It was a moment of pure joy. Not only did i become Hers, but the chains of fear and guilt from being forgiven were removed.
On the 21st of March, was the moment that a defining moment for me in my submission. It is one thing to give account access to a dominant for all Your bdsm activities and quite another to give Her access to Your personal account. Knowledge about and access to most of family, my friends, co-workers and aspects of my personal life. For me, that was me signing my life in trust to Her. It is no small step, no desire of being fetishistically blackmailed, or moment of weakness on my part. It was the facing of fear, the faith in a strong dominant woman and the parting of ways from negative cycles to commit to a dominant who can make me a better person - a better slave and in the process enjoy it. In turn, i've found that the work i do for Her isn't a chore like it has for others in the past. i desire to please Her, i desire to do the best i can for Her, i desire to serve Her to make Her happy. It's a paradigm shift. It isn't something i do for someone so i can get something back.
i am changing - my journey has just begun. Not sure where i'm heading, or what i'll be when all is said and done, but i trust my beautiful Mistress - Miss Shola
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